what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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