D3 body, D1 cock
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
