there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
