am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
