the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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