There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
