that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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