using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
This house was built for laser tag.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
