I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
