we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
