The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
God, I missed his penis.
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