i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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