No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
