You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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