After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
