i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize