I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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