I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
