I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
