Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize