we're blogging at a bar
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
