I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
