I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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