did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
