I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
