so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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