Umm I'm too high to move.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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