Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
