Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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