i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
