How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
