There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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