And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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