it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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