It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
