So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
