If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
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Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
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Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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