Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
