I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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