its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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