We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
