exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
