final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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