Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
