it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize