a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize