just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
