worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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