Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't think brook has ever known best
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
