I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
