You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
