Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize