two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
