Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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