If that was your dad, he is hot
My brain says no but my pants say off.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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