So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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