all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
