I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
