So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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