I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
